Europe’s biggest problem

I have lived in 5 different European countries and visited dozens of others, so I consider myself a bit of an expert on Europe. And of course on Europe’s problems, a topic which has been dominating headlines for the past few years. I know exactly what is the biggest problem Europe has. It’s not the Euro, not the immigrants, not Islam, not climate change. In North or South, East or West, in poor countries and rich ones, large or small, the single biggest problem Europeans in all countries are facing is one and the same. It’s dog shit. Seriously. On a day-to-day basis, the most concerning problem for the average European is how to avoid stepping into fresh (or not so fresh) piece of dog shit.

The issue of dog shit crosses (sometimes quite literally) all borders in Europe. Throughout the years, I’ve seen Europeans of all social backgrounds, skin colours and religions neglecting to commit the simple act of picking up their dog’s shit, and I’ve seen their European neighbours failing to find an adequate answer to this neglect.

Dog shit is a problem that encompasses most, if not all, aspects of society. It’s about the antisocial dog owner, who fails to assume his/her citizen’s responsibility. It’s about their fellow citizens, who, when confronted with the problem look away and hope someone else will do something about it. It’s about taxes and spending – European municipalities have a habit of charging a “dog tax” and spending it on pretty much anything rather than the intended purpose of dog toilets and poop bag dispensers. It’s about public health and safety – the turds are a source of germs and parasites in the air. It’s also about law enforcements – in Rotterdam, where I live, the fine for not clearing your dog’s shit is 130 Euro, but I have never seen the city wardens actually fine someone (and I’ve seen plenty of dogs taking a dump on the streets).

Basically, what it comes down to is that you need to watch where you’re stepping, can’t lie down on the grass in a park and nobody’s doing anything about it. Except in Switzerland, which sort of proves that the Swiss are not a part of Europe but live on a separate continent. But I’m digressing. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve had it with dog shit. I am taking a stand. In the building across the lawn lives a guy who owns a couple of large dogs. You see where this is going, right? Yes, right on the lawn, even though there’s a dog toilet across the street. I’m going to make myself perfectly clear by putting this baby in front of his balcony:

If this sign doesn't help I'll have to buy an air gun

If this sign is not clear enough I’ll have to buy an air gun


Filed under Europe, Small European things

2 responses to “Europe’s biggest problem

  1. Aba eben

    By this characteristic alot of places belong to europe. By the way- if iceland and gb is europe, can Canada and us count as European? And Australia football team can sure help her to get in as your basic demand…

    • I’m not sure I am quite following you. Which characteristic do you mean?
      Countries such as Canada, USA and Australia do have a lot of Europe in their genome. A large part of their culture, architecture and population are European. However, there is little chance of any of these becoming part of the EU or the UEFA, and so I can’t count them as part of Europe.

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