7 things Americans don’t understand about Europe

I don’t understand Americans in Europe. Actually, I don’t understand them in their own country as well. I mean, I don’t get baseball, NASCAR, American gun laws, the American insistence on using an archaic measurement system and above all I don’t understand ice in whiskey. But I think Americans do not understand Europe either. Not all of them, of course, but I think the average American has no clue about may things that are quite common in Europe. Here’s a small guide to the visiting American, helping rectify the most common American misconceptions about Europe.

What most European cities really look like

1. Europe is a continent, not a country
   “Europe is my favourite country” – how many times have I not come across this statement? Admittedly, the last one I saw was made by a Canadian, which only serves to prove the point that Canadians (and Australians) are a bit of Americans in disguise. Perhaps for people from countries the size of a continent it is difficult to understand. But Europe actually consists of more than 50 countries (depending a bit on how you define “country”). They have their own flags, anthems, culture and for what its worth their own foreign policy. Lumping them together is like saying “animals are cute” – sure they are, but a bit overgeneralizing.
2. Europe is not the same as the European Union
   Its true that by now the majority of Europeans live in EU-member states. But there are still dozens of countries in Europe that are not a member, and the EU still covers less than half of Europe’s physical area. Besides, contrary to what Eurosceptics and Europhiles alike would like you to believe, the EU is not a super-state. Its members are independent countries who largely run their own affairs.
3. Europe is more than the tourist hotspots
   Sadly, most Americans who visit Europe, and even many of those who live in Europe rarely leave the beaten track of old town centres, business districts and tourist top destinations. Their impressions of Europe are limited to Paris and Venice, and perhaps a bit of the countryside of Tuscany or the valley of the Loire. Their image of Europeans is therefore that of sopisticated, cycling, latte-drinking fashionistas. Sad truth is that most of Europe is less like the Champs-Élysées and more like the suburbs of Dusseldorf or the Bulgarian countryside – full of moustached people in jump-suits, who drink beer for lunch.
   

   What most of Europe’s countryside really looks like

4. The UK is not a part of Europe
   This is actually what the British themselves believe, and their Anglo-Saxon cousins have inherited this belief. However, the UK is separated from the European mainland by a stretch of water just 33 km wide and less than 50 meters deep. People have even crossed swimming! The UK has been a part of the EU for over 40 years. Culturally, economically, socially, ethnically, religiously, geographically – any way you put it – the UK is firmly a part of Europe. Dear Britons – you are Europeans. Get over it. And mention it to your cousins, will you?
5. Europeans have more than two parties
   In the USA it is simple – you’ve got the Republicans and you’ve got the Democrats. Europe is a bit more complicated politically. In most European countries its an elaborate game of multiple parties and coalitions. I know Americans like things simple, but European politics just doesn’t work this way. But don’t worry about this one, most Europeans don’t get it either.
6. Football – no, its not soccer, its FOOTBALL
   Americans don’t even understand the name of the game that drives Europe crazy. They think they have football and what the Europeans play is soccer. But seriously – American “football” is played with the arms and hands mostly. Even if the occasional kick is taken into account its “limbsball” at best.
   

   What football really looks like

7. European social system
   “Social=socialism=communism=DEVIL” – that’s pretty much the line of thought of the average American. “Europe” is in the USA a symbol of all that goes wrong when the government takes over. In reality, in the USA government spending is ~47% of the GDP and in the EU government spending is ~49-50% of the GDP. Hardly a difference, isn’t it? True, in Europe poor people get various benefits and social subsidies. But in the USA the system is pretty much the same – the benefits are just called “tax credits” so that it sounds more business-like. But how can people who pay no taxes get tax credits? A-ha! That’s just social benefits in disguise!

So dear Americans – whether you’re visiting Europe, or just hearing some news about “Europe” – do keep in mind that things are a) a bit more complicated and b) perhaps not that different than at your place. And if you have stories of European misconceptions about the USA – I’d love to hear, I’m sure there are plenty.

FIFA World Cup 2014 – can a small European country win?

Half way through the 2014 FIFA World Cup the tournament can be only described as “spectacular”. There was everything. There were goals – lots of them. So far, the average number of goals scored is the highest since 1970 – that’s 44 years! And some goals these were.

There was drama – like that last minute penalty sending Greece through at the expense of Ivory Coast. There were spectacular matches like the Netherlands vs Australia roller coaster. There was the good – Costa Rica’s success is a huge surprise, there was the bad – who would have thought Spain AND Portugal will be gone by the end of the group stage and there was the ugly – none else but Luis Suárez aka The Uruguayan Dracula.

Sure, there were downsides as well. There were horrible refereeing mistakes (or were these “mistakes”, like in the opening match when Croatia was robbed?). Some matches were outright boring, like the useless 0-0 played by Iran and Nigeria. The Asian and African teams proved once again that they only come to serve as decoration until the real tournament begins. While a record 2 African teams advanced into the Top 16, the chances of Algeria or Nigeria eliminating Germany or France respectively are not high to say the least. By the time the next round is over, it will be, again, a tournament of European and American teams. And the champion will, as always, come from Europe or South America.

To me, though, the biggest result so far is the success of teams from small European countries. Of the 7 that entered, 4 advanced to the Top 16, compared to only 2 out of 6 big European countries that participated. But can a small European country  win the biggest tournament in the world? In the past, Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Netherlands and Sweden all were as close as it gets – they all stood in the final and all lost. Between them, these small European countries lost 8 World Cup finals.

Why does this happen? Can’t a small country win a big tournament? Well, yes, they can! Tiny Uruguay won the World Cup twice! The same Czechoslovakia and Netherlands, as well as Greece and Denmark won the European Championship before. And its not like winning the European Championship is much easier than winning the World Cup – 10 out of 19 World Cups were won by European teams, so the competition in Europe is on pair with everything you can meet at the World Cup. If it would happen once or twice, it would be a coincidence. But 8 out of 8 is a pattern.

Patterns are made to be broken though. For example, for 50 years the World Cup was won by a European and then a South American country – until Spain succeeded Italy as champion of the world in 2010. The same Spain broke the “rule” that a European championship is not won twice in a row – until Spain’s victory in 2012 no one succesfullt defended the European title.

In this year’s World Cup, all 4 teams from small European countries are on the same “side” of the knockout stage, so there is a good chance one of them will reach the final. Making predictions about anything in the future is difficult, making predictions about football is especially difficult and making predictions about this tournament is absolutely useless in light of the spectacularly surprising results so far.

But I think there is one thing that the teams of Netherlands, Belgium, Greece and Switzerland have in common this year – they have all shown resilience and determination. They came back from trailing behind, even playing against champions of the world. They fought back even in hopeless situations, like Switzerland exposing the weakness and arrogance of France by scoring twice after trailing 5-0. They gave all they had until the last second, like Greece in their last group match. They played to win, even when there was nothing at stake, like Belgium against South Korea. This is the stuff champions are made of. And this time, maybe, just maybe, a small European country can become champion of the world.

10 ways to tell you’ve lived too long in Rotterdam

While I was working on the list of 21 signs you have been too long in the Netherlands, I noticed that a few of the things I came up with were, in fact, not generally applicable to the Netherlands, but were specific to Rotterdam.

1. You think it was worth it to stand for two hours in line at Richard Visser’s on December 31st to get the best oliebollen in the country.
2. You remember the last time Feyenoord actually won something.
3. You follow the performances of Sparta and Excelsior in the second league.
4. You refer to the capital of the Netherlands as 020.
5. You know the bridges in Rotterdam by their nicknames.
6. When you cross the Maas to the other side from the one you live on, you get homesick.
7. Which is why you actually avoid the other side.
8. Skyscrapers built in a couple of weeks no longer surprise you.
9. Bram Ladage fries are a healthy snack.
10. You have a favourite modern architecture icon in Rotterdam (mine is the Bergpolderflat).

Richard Visser

Bergpolderflat

The Maas